July

I can tell you right up front, this entry will not be my best one. I'm just not in the mood to write well. Hell, I might not even edit it. *gasp!*

Things around here have been busy. Before this week Max and I pretty much spent every day he was home going somewhere that he could play. I knew that August was going to be busy and he was going to spend a lot of time at daycare. So I wanted to make the most of July. And the weekends have been full of visitors- both family and friends.

Just this week Natalie had the twins. Their names are Aleah Marie and Eliana Estelle. And because my blog is private, I can say this- I don't like their names. My s-i-l always picks such prissy names. And frowns when we try to give them nicknames. Anna is always called Annaliese by her parents. I think it's a mouthful. I didn't like her name either. I know, I know, it's their kid. But we all have to use the name too! And SHE has to go to school with it! So fortunately, Max can't say their names. He calls them Lili and Eli. Also fortunately, Natalie thinks it's cute that he can't say their names. Secretly, I'm going to pay him to keep saying those names until the cute factor doesn't count. Maybe by then the nicknames will STICK. Haha.

I am desperately clinging to the last weeks of my summer. Only 3 weeks left after this one until I am back to work full time. That....makes...me...sad. Plain and simple, I don't want to go back. I like the routine that Max and I have at home. And I like having a clean house. Kendall doesn't clean. And so unless I am home to put everything away, our house goes to shit. Case in point- we've been at the hospital all week visiting and trying to help out where we can. Our house- shit hole. *sigh* I've had to get up two days this week at my normal work time to go to summer workshops. Both days SUCKED. :P I have to do it again tomorrow. It will suck as well.

We got some interesting news this week on the get-a-sibling-for-Max front. Catholic Social Services informed me that we are eligible for their next home study group. This is a big surprise to us because we never repaid the fee to go back on the waiting list. We just told them to put us at the bottom and we'd let them know. I guess that meant we got to work our way back UP the list again. Which means that adoption is still a very REAL and CLOSE possibility for us. Which both comforts me and tears my heart out at the same time.

It helps to know that adoption is still an option and makes me excited that we wouldn't actually have to wait 'til Max as almost 4 for it to happen. It kills me to think about because as bizarre as it sounds, I so want to be where Natalie is right now. Recovering from another c-section. I'm not sure what that's supposed to tell me. I feel like my heart really is open to the idea of bringing someone else's baby into our home and making them OUR baby. But because of Max, I think I would always question whether we could still have more biological children. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to take some time off from killing myself to have a biological child. And maybe we could come back to it later when we wanted a third. Still a lot to think about.

Some quick things about Max and I'm outta here!

His latest favorite: Up and Down. He will use any prop he can get his hands on to demonstrate the concept of going up and down. Sometimes, when there are no props available, he'll use his body to go up and down. It's pretty funny.

His new favorite toy: General Red. A big plastic horse my mom bought him when she was here to visit for my birthday. Kendall wanted to name him General. I wanted to name him Red. A nice compromise was formed. Who cares what Max wanted to name him!

18 Month Check up: Weight- 28 pounds (50th to 75th percentile), Height- 35 inches (95th percentile- child, stop growing! This will put him FOR SURE over 6 feet as an adult.), Head Circumference- 53 centimeters (OVER the 95th percentile- which means he has a VERY large brain. Just the way I like 'em!)

Stressed

So ever since our vacation, things have felt stressful. Between being sick, catching up on bills, cleaning the house and dealing with Max's meltdowns, I'm getting worn out. We even decided that we'd wait another month to go back to the fertility doc because we're so tired and stressed. And that's big for us, because I was fully planning on going back as soon as I could.

We're also trying to refinance our mortgage. While on vacation, our loan officer called us to let us know we were eligible for a signifcantly lower interest rate. So significant that it will save us 250 dollars a month on our monthly payment. The only glitch, we have to get the house appraised for the same amount it was given three years ago when we bought it. While it doesn't sound that hard, I'm worried that in this current economy we're going to get hit. I REALLY want this refi to happen. It will add up quickly to more money in our savings account for fertility treatment, home improvement (which will only raise the value of our home more) and overall more money for emergencies. The appraiser is coming today at 10. So keep your fingers crossed for us!

Max is starting to hit his terrible twos a little early. He has been throwing more and more fits and temper tantrums. He's been hitting and throwing and occassionally biting. It's hard to yell at him and spank him sometimes. And at other times, extremely easy. :) I have to make sure that I don't just fly off the handle and that I give him ample warnings and explain WHY he is being punished or spanked. I have spanked him enough now (for serious things like throwing at the dogs or running away from me in public) that when I ask him "Do you want a spankin'?" he actually says, "No!" and stops the behavior. (I KNOW that sentence isn't punctuated correctly, but I'm on summer vacation! :P)

I'm also starting to stress about school. I'm nervous about team teaching with someone full time. Especially because she's totally ADHD. It's going to be a long year if we don't get along. At least I have a good idea of what the kids are like. Many of them are good kids (according to my friend Leslie who had them last year) and that matters more to me than if they are straight A students. If they are trying to do their best, that's all that matters.

Okay, I feel a little better. I just have to tell myself that it will all work out. We are going to try "on our own" this month for baby #2 (even though our hopes aren't high it will work, you never know) and have several other things on the agenda socially. We've also talked about several other home projects, especially if the refi goes through. One of them is an egress window for the basment so that we could list our home as a 5 bedroom. Plus, it would add a lot more light to the spare room down there. Additionally, we still want to paint several rooms, including a bigger room for Max. Now if only I could get my brother to come down and paint....

HECK YEA!

So the language arts coordinator for our school district sent me a text today that had me smiling. You're probably wondering, "He texted you?" Yes. He used to be our assistant principal and we became friends while he was in our building. And he's very good about using modern technology to communicate. Anyways, you're also probably wondering, "What did the text say?" Wellll....I found out that 100% of my kids passed the OAA (Ohio Achievement Assessment)! That means even the ones that were total TURDS and didn't write much for their answers had a passing score of at least 75% or better.

I also found out that I have a Perfomance Index of 111! The coordinator also told me that he thinks I got the highest PI of all language arts teachers in the district! HECK YEA!

I feel like all of my hard work this year paid off. Especially because I didn't feel like it was my best year since I was balancing work and family. Since my "arch nemesis" is teaching the advanced kids this year, I'll be very interested to see how their scores do....