Mixed Feelings

So this week has been quite the roller coaster of emotions. Here are the highlights:

Monday- Overwhelmed- I had to go in to work because I don't have that many sick days banked yet. I knew that when I used them all up with Max I would be putting myself in a precarious situation, so I can't really complain all that much. It was totally worth it to stay home with him for 4 months. But it also means I'm very selective about my days off. So when I went in Monday I was trying to catch up from two days of sub notes AND trying to plan for two more days of subs notes. The kids were pretty good and the subs didn't suck, so by the end of the day I felt like I had a handle on things.

Tuesday- Disappointed- I had taken the afternoon off because Kendall was supposed to be coming home from the hospital. It didn't happen. They wanted him to get a few more doses of IV antibiotics in his system before releasing him. So I had to come home and get the house ready for our cleaning lady (pick up junk, get out the cleaning supplies) and then I headed down to the mall for a few hours. I ended up not finding anything (I was hoping for some retail therapy) and the bras that I bought ended up being a failure. Overall, by the end of the day I was frustrated and exhausted. I spent a few hours playing Yahtzee with Kendall at the hospital and then had to come home and get Max ready for bed.

Wednesday- Encouraged- I headed to the doctor Wednesday morning to see if the cyst that had formed on my ovary was finally gone. It was another month of not being able to do any fertility treatment and I was ready for some good news. Fortunately, the cyst is gone. So I have ordered my drugs (let me tell you, 500 dollars on fertility drugs is NOT the way I want to be spending money right now!) and start my shots again tomorrow. We have decided to go back to the more expensive treatments. It's what worked for Max. We were hoping to get away with the cheap method. It wasn't working. So fingers crossed this works. Kendall also got to come home! I picked him up at 1 and we drove around getting his medicine and equipment that the hospital wanted him to use. Unfortunately, Max also developed a slight fever that day.

Thursday- Frustrated- Max woke up with a fever of 103. Poor kid was barely keeping his head up at 7am after a full night of sleep. Fortunately Kendall was staying home the rest of the week, so I headed in to work. I was worried about them both all day. Kendall didn't really get the rest he was supposed to and Max's fever still didn't go away. I had to run a bunch of errands and take out the trash, and I found myself thinking that I wouldn't mind a few days rest in the hospital....

Friday- Exhausted- After all of the errands the previous night, I had flopped in to bed. Because Max had slept so much of the day on Thursday, he decided to wake up at 3am. Kendall took him downstairs to watch tv for a little while and give him some more Motrin but I was still up and tossing and turning. So I was a little short on sleep. The day seemed to go by quickly, but I had many things to take care of for next weeks two day field trip. I'm behind on grading and feel like I REALLY need the Thanksgiving break. Max peaked a fever of almost 104. I hope it's not too serious.

Saturday- Impatient- Today I am getting impatient. I am trying to be understanding with Kendall. But I feel like he's milking it a little bit. Yes, he had pneumonia. Yes, he's still recovering. But YES, I have been busting my butt for two weeks. And YES, I want his help with a few things. I'm ready for this to all be over. And to just enjoy my freaking holidays. Hopefully this next week is a little more even keel and I can sit back and relax and enjoy my family and be thankful that they are all HEALTHY!!!

I Might As Well Blog About This

So the last couple of weeks haven't been the greatest in the Erdahl household. When I left for DC two weeks ago, I had just found out that the cyst on my ovary still wasn't gone and that I'd have to go back on two more weeks of birth control. Kendall was also still coughing and sick. Kendall was able to make it through most of the week without me but at the end of the week he almost passed out at work and his blood pressure went really low. They sent him home.

That weekend he was sick the whole time. I barely felt like I got to recover from walking 20 miles before I had to go back to work. Kendall went to work Monday and again felt like passing out. They gave him iv fluids and vitamins and sent him home. He stayed home for several days and attempted to go back to work again.

Wednesday night Max woke up at 11pm and was spewing macaroni everywhere. It was sick. It smelled awful, his bed was covered, he was covered and I got covered. Not the most pleasant parenting task. Let's just say I won't be eating the mac and cheese from Panera any time soon.

Thursday seemed to be going okay. Max was doing well. I stayed home from work with him. And then at 3 pm I get a phone call from Kendall that he almost passed out again and they wanted him to go to the ER. So I packed up all of our stuff and headed out to pick him up.

We then spent the next 7 hours in the ER. Fortunately, my friend Leslie helped out and was able to watch Max until my in-laws could get over to our house. Kendall was admitted to the hospital with right lung pneumonia. He was coughing so hard he was puking. He BP was down to 90/56. I was worried. The ER doc basically said that Kendall had tried everything he could to stay out of the hospital but it was probably time to give up and get admitted.

That night I headed home to get some things for Kendall and started to not feel well. Then the stomach flu hit me. I barely got the things Kendall needed to him and back home again. It was awful. I was up on the toilet all night. I spent the entire next day in bed crying because I didn't feel good and because I had pretty much abandoned Kendall at the hospital.

Yesterday I was feeling a little better and my mom was able to come down for the night. I sent my in-laws home to get a break. They went a little too eagerly for me. It kind of hurt my feelings actually. But I got to spend some good time with my mom and she was a big help with Max. Last night we also got some more bad news. Our friend Tom (one of Kendall's residency buddies) was diagnosed with cancer last March. Everything seemed to be going fine. But last night we found out that the chemo has stopped working. And instead of telling us, he just stopped eating and didn't tell anybody. So another residency friend got a call to come out because things were bad. We learned last night that Tom probably won't make it to Thanksgiving. It's just horrible timing for horrible news.

Today things looked up a little. Kendall got a different antibiotic and it seems to FINALLY be working. His lungs sound better and he's feeling a little better today. My mom helped me set up the Christmas tree in our family room because it will probably be a while before Kendall is up to lifting heavy things and putting the tree up just made me feel better. I love Christmas. It will forever be my favorite holiday because of little Max. He came home with us 12 days before Christmas. I have pictures of him all tiny (tiny for HIM) and helpless in front of the family room tree. So I wanted that tree up first. There aren't any decorations on it yet, but it's up and glowing and it makes me feel like my break from work is near.

Unfortunately I have to go back to work tomorrow. I don't have that many sick days to burn since I used them all up with Max's maternity leave a few years ago. I need to save in the hopes of another baby. So I will head back tomorrow, exhausted, and then take off Tuesday to get Kendall home. (I HOPE.) I go back to the doctor Wednesday to see if that f*cking cyst is gone yet. *sigh* I need some good news.