Peeing on Trees and Other Nonsense

Me:

• School has been very stressful.  Our school finances are not in good shape due to Kaisch cutting 10 million dollars of our state funding over the next 4 years.  This means that we had to ask tax payers for money sooner than we anticipated.  (Don't even get me started on the way we fund public schools!)  They voted NO in November.  Very disheartening but also understandable.  I blame the district for not getting information to people to make informed decisions.  I also understand it's a tight economy.  I DON'T understand how the community thinks we can make do with less when we already are.  We have an excellent treasurer who has always planned ahead.  We've always been in the black.  Teachers are on a hard freeze for salaries (and trust me, we are NOT even close to the highest paid districts) and took a 5% increase in our health insurance.  We also forfieted an type of performance pay to save additional jobs.  The district cut 32 jobs this year and anticipate another 32 next year, even with a pass on the August levy.  I'm worried I won't have a job after next year.
• I'm trying to decide if I want a third baby.  With the potential to lose my job I don't know how that will affect our finances.  I also worry about how it will affect me physically because of my umbilical hernia.  It got much worse with Michael and I worry it wouldn't take the strain of a third baby weighing on it.  I also worry that I couldn't handle any more loss.  Would another miscarriage be it?  Could I keep trying?  In my heart I still think I want a third baby.  Even if it IS a boy.  :D  Mark Simon Erdahl has a very nice ring to it.
• Counting the days til summer vacation and our family trip to Florida.  I can't WAIT to do something FUN.  It's sucked so much at work that it carries over to home.  I need some time away.  As Bill Murray said in What About Bob?, I want to be on vacation...from my problems!!!!
• I'm reading the Fifty Shades trilogy.  They're HOT.  And slightly overwhelming...this coming from someone who has read MANY a romance novel.  Some people are calling them porn.  I'd disagree and say they're "erotica"....which is just a PC term for porn.  HAHA.

Kendall:

• After numerous tests it has been determined that he is allergic to THE WORLD.  Not much we can do short of allergy shots and medication....oh and ripping out all of the carpet in our house and putting in hard wood to reduce dust and dog hair.  :)
• Work has been good.  He's been seeing a good number of patients and we may FINALLY see a performance bonus for the first quarter of 2012!  I'm finally starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel to at least that portion of our debt and hopefully a way to settle up some on the med school debt we're still paying off!

Max:

• Kendall has been telling Max for several weeks now that on our road trip to Florida in 3 weeks he will have to pee on trees on the side of the road when he has to go to the bathroom. That there will be no time for stops along the way. Max is now fascinated every time we get in the car and travel on the highway. He points out trees and asks if we can pull over and let him pee on them. We get home yesterday from strawberry picking and Max says, "I want to pee on a tree!" He then drops his shorts and starts waddling around the front yard with his "parts" hanging out. I about died and started laughing. I told Kendall he was going to have to indulge him and show him how to do it in the backyard. So he took him to a tree and told him how to pee standing. It was a HUGE hit. God help me......
• Max is also waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Which is great because it means we won't be putting diapers on him at all very soon. But two nights ago he came TEARING into our room screaming, "I've gotta go pee!!!!" Which then caused me to shoot up out of the bed and spend the rest of the night dreaming that he was in our room watching us sleep! LOL! We had a talk about how he needed to come in more quietly and not scare Mommy and Daddy. This morning he came in at 5:20 and very quietly went into our bathroom and turned on the light and then quickly dimmed it ("So I wouldn't wake up Mommy.") and then had trouble getting his diaper off. LOL! The joys of a 3 year old.
• Avengers CRAZY.  We have all of the masks and weapons and what not.  T-shirts galore.  It's adorable.  Some day he will hate the world and be anti-everything as a teenager and I will be able to look back at the video and pictures of him re-enacting Avengers fight sequences and smile fondly.
• One of his newest entertainments is to make up his own stories and adventures and tell them to us.  Sometimes they're about us, sometimes a favorite cartoon character.  He also likes to sing the wrong words to songs and see if we notice.  What a cutie!
• Still loving his little brother.  Thank God. 

Mike:

• Since I've been a neglectful blogger a lot has changed in almost 6 months.  He can now crawl, and babble and eat baby food. He's always eating table foods.
• Babble entails mama, dada, momomo (more) and baba (no clue what this means)
• He already has a sense of humor.  Sometimes he'll put his mouth on my arm or my leg and make farting noises and then look and me and laugh and laugh.  I LOVE his smile.  He scrunches up his little nose and opens his mouth a little and makes this adorable little eh eh eh noise. 
• The crawling has been more of a challenge this time around because now all of Max's unsafe toys are within reach.  We now have pointy objects and sharp corners that we didn't have before.
• Still loving his big brother. Thank God.
  
  
  

 

Life is Too Busy

I was such a diligent blogger when Max was a baby and already Mike is suffering the effects of a house with two children.

My transition back to work was no where near as smooth this time around. I returned to work on Halloween. I was not ready. Mike was only 10 weeks old, such a drastic difference from Max who was 16 weeks old. And then I only worked for 7 weeks and spent the next three months at home again. This time around I got a brief two weeks for winter break and was back to the grind again in January. Fortunately Mike did not have colic and is an overall good-natured baby.

So I figured I'd do an update here for each of the family. We'll go from youngest to oldest. :D

Mike

• He can roll over from his back to his front in both directions with relative ease. He does not understand how to roll onto his back again. I've been told that this is unusual for a baby to master back to front first. Both of my boys did this though.
• He has found his toes. And he has also found that he is flexible enough to put them into his mouth. This provides hours of entertainment for him as well as big brother who thinks the concept of eating "toe jam" is HILARIOUS.
• He has been babbling up a baby talk storm. He has said the words "daddy" and "hi" in that babble and Kendall assures me that he's REALLY saying daddy. I'm not buying it. 24 weeks is a little too young for him to be using words.
• We've been having a problem with baby cereal. For a good stretch of time Mike was doing just fine with his twice a day cereal. Then we started adding formula to his diet (I'm just not producing enough now that I'm back to work and pumping) and suddenly he was projectile vomiting the cereal. We've started making some changes and seem to have him back on it at least once a day.
• Tried peas. He hated them. Max loved them. Just goes to show you that all babies really ARE different. May try green beans this week. Kendall thinks we may have to bribe him with fruits first. I know, a big no-no. We'll see.
• Drooling/teething like crazy
• Smiles a LOT. Such a happy little guy. Makes me feel good when I go get him.
• Total mama's boy right now. I hold him and he calms almost immediately. Also makes me feel good. :)
• Not sleeping through the night. Every 3 hours he's up to eat. UGH. So not what we had with Max.

Max

• Obsessed with his "wiener" and the wieners of all other people, animals and super heros. He likes to point out the anatomy of just about anything he can. While it's funny in private (no pun intended!) it's not so great when he shouts about it in public.
• Potty training, oh how I loathe thee. At home we can't get him to do anything regularly. He's telling us he has to pee when he wakes up in the morning and right before bed. Any other time he just does it in the diaper or Pull-Up. Poop is getting better. He gets a reward for poop now. He's always so proud of what he plops in the toilet. I'm not pushing him though. He'll do it when he's ready. If there's one thing I've learned, you can't rush potty training. They'll do it when they're ready, boy or girl.
• He still loves horses and has branched out into all zoo animals. He will set all of them up together along with a set of dinosaurs and some Hot Wheels. His imagination astounds me.
• Recently drew his first "family" picture. With actual stick figures. It was adorable. He even included Grandma and Charlie. It was great. I saved it. :D
• Max really is a great big brother. I have to give him credit. He's barely 3 and he has incredible patience and incredible love for his little brother. I'm amazed at his adoration for Mike. He plays games with him, comforts him when he cried and shares his toys with an ease I never could have imagined. And Mike loves him as well. It's so wonderful to see my baby's face light up at the sight of his big brother.
• He has a firm grasp now of letters and numbers. We practice them almost daily, whether it be with flash cards or just spotting words in the store or books or on his toys. Sometimes I forget that he's only 3.

Lisa

• Loving the new building we moved in to over winter break. So new and clean and technology that allows me to do so many new things.
• Hating many other aspects of my job right now. The district has to cut 14 million dollars over two years because of reduced funding from the state (thanks Kaisch!). On top of that the community voted no on the levy. I blame the district for dropping the ball and not sharing about the cuts from the state. We will go up on the ballot again in August. Hopefully with more information for the community. This, however, means there will be major staffing cuts. Some rumors say 20 teachers. Some say more. Because I don't have tenure (you have to have a masters degree and I don't) I am potentially at risk to get RIFed. I have seniority in the district, but not within my department.
• Still trying to decide if I REALLY want a third child. When I see Max and Mike play I think how great it would be to see them all grow up together. When I'm up at 1am feeding a baby, I think how OVER I am this whole baby phase. It's exhausting! Some people say 3 is no different that 2. Some people say the exact opposite. I still have a few months to decide but ultimately I'd like to make a decision one way or the other over the summer.
• I am really into reading dystopian novels right now. And I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas and I am borrowing tons of library books. I love it! I don't ever have to remember to return the book. The Kindle does it for me. Very nice.

Kendall

• His health has been a roller coaster since the fall. Major breathing issues led him to go back on steroids in October and November. We switched docs and got some new ideas and recommendations and he has been doing a lot better and is off the steroids again. Still don't have any answers as to what is causing his breathing issues but hope to do some allergy testing soon.
• His job has been VERY busy. It's that time of year though. We're hoping to get a small bonus check from last year. This is the last year we will have to write a check to the other partners to pay off his portion of the practice. I am VERY excited at the idea of finally pulling in some extra cash at the end of 2013.
• I have been encouraging him to read more. So far I've gotten him to read two books in just December and January and I have a new one for him for February.
• I'm always amazed at how helpful of a husband Kendall is. He is a very hands-on dad. He loses his temper some times, but don't we all? And I'm just grateful that he's willing to take the boys with him sometimes and give me some alone time. Or that we trade off chores and if I make dinner I know he'll clean up. Parenting really is a partnership. I can't imagine doing it without him.

Whew! Okay, I'm done! :D

The Passing of a Friend

All of my blog readers are also Facebook friends and so you probably know that we had to put Morrie down this Tuesday. I just wanted to put a note here on my blog to note this sad occassion.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but over the last several months Morrie has been having seizures. They started off mild and were very sporadic. They seemed to start after an incident he had with vertigo. Most likely the cause was some type of developing brain tumor, but we were realstic in the fact that we were not willing to spend thousands of dollars on testing to learn what we already knew- our dog was old and he was getting ready to die. We decided to only prolong his life until the quality declined and he was unhappy. He started having accidents in the house about this time as well.

Over those months Morrie seemed relatively happy. He still had some spunk. He was starting to really struggle with the stairs and he started to sleep more and more. His hearing and vision also started deteriorating and he started to lose weight, no matter how much he ate.

While we were gone on our road trip to South Dakota for 10 days, Morrie had a seizure almost every day. The day he came home he jumped out of the Suburban and landed right on the top of his head. He had 4 seizures that day, one of which occurred while he was sleeping in the middle of the night. That's when we knew it was time to take him to the vet and end his pain.

If you've never put down an animal, it's quite a surreal experience. As Kendall said to me that day, it's hard because you are making the active decision to end your friend's life. Driving to the vet was hard. I felt myself wanting to turn the car around at every stop sign and red light. I kept telling myself that maybe he was okay. That he wouldn't have anymore seizures if we just let him rest more. When we arrived the staff was very compassionate. They got us into a room very quickly.

The vet came in and explained the process to us. Kendall had never put down a pet before. They gave Morrie a sedative so that he would lay down and relax. There would be no fight or stress over the I.V. Unfortunately, the shot stung and he had a mild seizure while Kendall was holding him. It was hard to see but also justified that we were doing the right thing.

However, as the doctor inserted the I.V. and injected the medication to stop his heart, my rational mind seemed to disappear. I kept thinking to myself that this wasn't really happening. We weren't really killing our dog. We couldn't be. This was just some type of sleeping medication. I woud never consciously kill my friend. In that last moment I didn't feel like anything I was doing was right. "You're just killing your friend," I said to myself. The rational part of my mind couldn't be heard over the pouding of my heart. I could imagine myself yelling, "No!" and stopping the procedure. But I KNEW we had to do it. I had seen Morrie suffering just hours before at the house. And while my heart ached to stop the process it also ultimately knew that I didn't want my friend to suffer any more.

We watched as he slowly stopped breathing and his entire body went limp. Those last moments were very peaceful as we stroked his head and body and spoke loving words. We spent a few more minutes with him after he passed and gave him our last kisses. We held each other and cried over the loss of our first dog/furry child. And the most difficult part of the whole experience was leaving his little body lying there on the table.

We are having him cremated and bringing the ashes home. They will come in a little cherry box with his name on it. I'm not sure what we'll do with it. I think I'd like to bury the ashes and keep the box. I think Kendall would like to keep him in the house. I just keep imagining the boys finding the box one day and then living out that classic sit-com moment of fighting over the box, the ashes spilling on the floor and Morrie ending up in the Dyson and then buried in the ground outside with cracker crumbs and hair balls. Not really my ideal situation. :)

Two days later my heart still aches when I think about him. Nights are the worst for us because Morrie slept in our room and it's so quiet now. We're used to hearing his snoring and snorting and heavy breathing. Maggie is a quiet dog and Michael doesn't snore...yet. So it has been hard. I know the days and nights will get easier, but I told Kendall that I was just starting to feel like my heart didn't have a hole in it (with the two boys) and now that Morrie is gone, a part of it feels empty again.

I think we'll leave Maggie as an only dog for now. She will probably thrive from the extra attention and honestly, I'm already changing diapers on two kids and trying to get one of them to poop on the potty. I don't really have time to get a puppy potty trained too. Especially since I'm getting ready to go back to work. I feel guilty leaving Maggie at home all alone while we go to work, but I think she will adjust. We'll all have to adjust. But it still hurts an awful lot.

Three Weeks Old

It's been a rough week here.

Michael has been gassy and fussy and not wanting to nap the last several days. Today he seems back to his "normal" self (normal for three weeks old) but the last several days were scary flashbacks to Max with colic. Lots of walking and jiggling and me crying. I ate my lunch in the car yesterday so that he would fall asleep. I cried the whole lunch. And then I ate whatever I wanted the rest of the day because I was so bummed out. I'm such a stress eater. The bright spot of his week is that I had the girls at Kendall's office weigh him again today. He's half an ounce short of 10 pounds! At least that made me feel like he was really getting what he needed, even with all the spit up. I commented to Kendall that I thought he was finally feeling like Max. I was right, he now weighs as much as Max did at birth. So he's only about 2 weeks behind his big brother. Already competing with big brother and barely 3 weeks old. *SMH*

Max has also been asserting his "toddlerness". He has fought us every morning this week about getting up and dressed and ready for school. He wants to stay home with us. I knew this was going to happen. Mommy and Michael are still in their jammies and Max wants to stay home too. We have had to be the mean parents every day and make him get dressed and get in the car. While it pains me to see him cry and go into time outs over something so silly, I can't cave. If we start caving now, imagine what he would become? We have been so consistent with our rules and our behavior that I can't just quit because I'm tired. Even though that's what I really want to do.

I've also been having a "fat week". I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only 21 days postpartum and that I was still wearing maternity clothes at this point with Max too. I'm just so tired of wearing them! I want to wear my real clothes again. This time around my skin stretched A LOT (hello stretch marks!) and it's just not bouncing back. Nor is my umbilical hernia. I'm worried that my belly button is going to permanently stick out until I have it repaired. Which I won't do until we're done having children. And I'm pretty sure we're not done. *sigh* Oh well. The price we pay for babies.

Two Weeks Old!

So I went back and read all of my entries from December of 2008 during Michael's morning nap. And found myself with tears streaming down my face by the end of the entries! Hormones, fatigue and the utter happiness of my entries had me feeling very emotional. And it also made me realize that many of the feelings I had almost 3 years ago are still present now.

I certainly wasn't as terrified of a c-section this second time around, but I did still have butterflies on my second walk to the OR. I'm amazed at the amount of love that immediately blooms in your heart the moment you see your baby, whether it's your first or second child. And I'm very grateful for all of the kind thoughts, notes, FB posts and gifts that have flowed into our house, even with a second baby. I don't feel like Michael has been "stiffed" as the second child.

It was good to go back and read about how tired and emotional I was with Max. Because I really didn't remember much of that time except for the sheer happiness of bringing home our special boy. As some of you know, having your own children, it's TWICE as exhausting when you already have a child and then bring home a newborn. Not only am I getting up in the middle of the night to feed Michael, I'm also getting up at 7 to get Max ready for preschool and help Kendall get out the door. And I've only done it 3 days! LOL! I can't even imagine how tired I will be when I go back to work at the beginning of November. Coffee is my best friend in the morning. I'm NOT a napper.

Michael is a good baby. He's not as alert as Max was in the early days. He has already established a pretty good pattern (that I'm sure he will change just to throw me off). He eats, stays awake for an hour and then sleeps for an hour or two. Then his belly growls and he wakes up to eat again. And then the cycle starts over again. I love being able to spend time with him one on one. I feel a little guilty that we're sending Max to school every day, but he really does like it there and the teachers have said he's been happy all week. No crying or whining about wanting to come home. So that makes me feel A LOT better about our decision to send him back full time. He comes home every day with a new story about what he did or who he played with or what they had to eat.

Max is doing amazingly well. He seems to take the attention Micheal needs in stride. He LOVES asking me when I'm going to feed Michael "milk from my boobies". LOL! He doesn't seem to mind that I have to spend that time not playing with him. And he likes to sit next to me while I'm feeding Michael and just lean on my side and talk to me or watch TV or have me read him a book. I hope this continues.

I also want to try and be diligent about documenting Michael's days because I want to be able to come back and read about these days when HE is almost 3...and we're maybe welcoming our third child home! (Yes, even this soon after birth my heart still feels like 3 is the right number! I'm crazy!)

Life With Two Boys

July was a rough month for me. I had Max at home with me almost full time and I was feeling HUGE. The heat was almost unbearable and we spent most of our time indoors. I couldn't take him to the park or the zoo, it was a struggle at times to just get over to Kendall's office to have lunch. I had a lot of swelling and belly pain. I started having contractions, especially when stressed. I definitely couldn't wait for August to get here.

FINALLY August 19th arrived. It was an emotional day. I was struggling to not feel guilty that I was bringing home another child to divide my attention from Max. I was nervous that things wouldn't go as smoothly in surgery as they did the first time. And I was terrified of the pain of recovery, even knowing how I did the last time. While some fears were warranted, others were proven wrong. Max is IN LOVE with Michael and doesn't seem to bear me any ill will for bringing him home. He's been extremely helpful- getting diapers, trying to calm Michael when he cries and looking out for him when we ride in the car.

However, my recovery was not as easy as the last time. I've heard this is common with second babies and c-sections, but I just wasn't prepared for how tough it was. Everyone said I did great and that I was really getting around well those first few days, but it sure didn't feel like it. I was able to manage pain without taking crazy pain killers and that could be why it was a little more difficult. I also had a really bad first night in the hospital (a different one than last time) and that didn't help either.

Other than that, everything feels just a little easier with a newborn. My milk came in faster, I understand how to get him on the breast and didn't have near the problems I did with Max. I'm not quite as anxious this time around about crying. Sometimes babies cry. After Max's colic, I think crying got a lot easier to hear. I am a little worried Michael will have colic. He is already showing gassy tendencies. We will probably be dealing with reflux again at the very least. The poor kid is like a fartmonica. He's also starting to spit up and he's only 12 days old! I'm less anxious when he's sleeping and have even managed to get a shower and ready for the day before lunch time without breaking a sweat!

I still kind of can't believe I have two boys. I think if we had had a girl this time, it might seem a little more real, but sometimes I look at Michael and forget it's not Max lying there. So many of their newborn facial features are the same. Michael has a lot less rolls (his legs are actually SCRAWNY) and he got my fingers and toes and his hair is much lighter, but his eyes, ears, nose and mouth are so much like Max it's uncanny. They even wrinkle their brows the same way when distressed. But Michael is his own child. He is already showing signs of his own personality. I can't WAIT to see how he grows and changes. And I can't wait for the age when he and Max can finally play together and be BROTHERS.

Max Update

Sometimes I look at Max and I think, "Wow! You're such a big boy!" He speaks to me in complete sentences and is able to tell me anything that he wants or needs. If he doesn't know the word for something he will directly ask me, "What is this called?" He then repeats the word (without my prompting him anymore) and then tries to use it again to ask for whatever he wants. In these moments I puff with pride and I think to myself, "You're so smart!" One of my favorite words that he uses (and one of his favorites to use) is "hilarious". He understands that it's a bigger word for "funny" and has taken to using it more and more frequently. I KNOW that he has gotten this word from me because I favor using it rather than just plain old "funny".

His vocabulary also includes lots of new animals. We look at animal flashcards a lot. He knows the difference between African and Asian elephants, the difference between bactrian and dromedary camels, he knows at least 6 different types of horses and that they can come in different colors. His favorite horses right now are the Clydesdales (which he sometimes calls the "beer horses" courtesy of his FATHER) and Falabellas. I think he just likes the way the name rolls off his tongue though. :) He very specifically asked if we could see the Okapi at the zoo this week. Unfortunately, it was hiding. But I love that he's learning obscure animals. Mostly because I learn them too then.

We have been trying to teach him about where things are located. For example, he knows that he lives in Troy, OH. While he doesn't know what the name of our street is yet, he can tell me which way to turn in town to get to our house on many major roads. A friend was in the car with us the other day and when we passed the entrance to our neighborhood to take her home he yelled out, "You missed our street Mommy!" My friend was amazed. He just takes in so many things. He also knows that his friend Maddie lives in Xenia and that the zoos are located in Columbus and Cincinnati. He knows that Grandma and Grandpa Hoag live in Cleveland. Just so smart!

Being home together for the summer has been enjoyable and aggravating all at the same time. There are days when we have a lot of fun together and then days when we both have complete meltdowns at the same time and we are both yelling and crying. I know that some of that is due to my fatigue and pregnancy hormones and the fact that he's only 2. But we always make up and hug and kiss each other at the end and say we're sorry. Inevitably being home together makes Max ask me to do things more than Kendall. He prefers me at times over his daddy. This has not been the case prior to summer vacation. It hurts Kendall's feelings sometimes, but I just try to remind him that Max and I spend a lot of time together and it's only natural that he would think of asking me something first.

We've been taking a lot of new trips this summer. New zoo, new parks, new museums, and trips to a real movie theater! We've enjoyed them all and i hope to be able to do a few more trips before Michael's arrival.

The transition to Max's new room went really well. He likes it a lot and I'm pretty sure he has forgotten that the other room even belonged to him. It is now baby Michael's room.

So all around a good start to summer. :)