Three Weeks Old

It's been a rough week here.

Michael has been gassy and fussy and not wanting to nap the last several days. Today he seems back to his "normal" self (normal for three weeks old) but the last several days were scary flashbacks to Max with colic. Lots of walking and jiggling and me crying. I ate my lunch in the car yesterday so that he would fall asleep. I cried the whole lunch. And then I ate whatever I wanted the rest of the day because I was so bummed out. I'm such a stress eater. The bright spot of his week is that I had the girls at Kendall's office weigh him again today. He's half an ounce short of 10 pounds! At least that made me feel like he was really getting what he needed, even with all the spit up. I commented to Kendall that I thought he was finally feeling like Max. I was right, he now weighs as much as Max did at birth. So he's only about 2 weeks behind his big brother. Already competing with big brother and barely 3 weeks old. *SMH*

Max has also been asserting his "toddlerness". He has fought us every morning this week about getting up and dressed and ready for school. He wants to stay home with us. I knew this was going to happen. Mommy and Michael are still in their jammies and Max wants to stay home too. We have had to be the mean parents every day and make him get dressed and get in the car. While it pains me to see him cry and go into time outs over something so silly, I can't cave. If we start caving now, imagine what he would become? We have been so consistent with our rules and our behavior that I can't just quit because I'm tired. Even though that's what I really want to do.

I've also been having a "fat week". I have to keep reminding myself that I'm only 21 days postpartum and that I was still wearing maternity clothes at this point with Max too. I'm just so tired of wearing them! I want to wear my real clothes again. This time around my skin stretched A LOT (hello stretch marks!) and it's just not bouncing back. Nor is my umbilical hernia. I'm worried that my belly button is going to permanently stick out until I have it repaired. Which I won't do until we're done having children. And I'm pretty sure we're not done. *sigh* Oh well. The price we pay for babies.

Two Weeks Old!

So I went back and read all of my entries from December of 2008 during Michael's morning nap. And found myself with tears streaming down my face by the end of the entries! Hormones, fatigue and the utter happiness of my entries had me feeling very emotional. And it also made me realize that many of the feelings I had almost 3 years ago are still present now.

I certainly wasn't as terrified of a c-section this second time around, but I did still have butterflies on my second walk to the OR. I'm amazed at the amount of love that immediately blooms in your heart the moment you see your baby, whether it's your first or second child. And I'm very grateful for all of the kind thoughts, notes, FB posts and gifts that have flowed into our house, even with a second baby. I don't feel like Michael has been "stiffed" as the second child.

It was good to go back and read about how tired and emotional I was with Max. Because I really didn't remember much of that time except for the sheer happiness of bringing home our special boy. As some of you know, having your own children, it's TWICE as exhausting when you already have a child and then bring home a newborn. Not only am I getting up in the middle of the night to feed Michael, I'm also getting up at 7 to get Max ready for preschool and help Kendall get out the door. And I've only done it 3 days! LOL! I can't even imagine how tired I will be when I go back to work at the beginning of November. Coffee is my best friend in the morning. I'm NOT a napper.

Michael is a good baby. He's not as alert as Max was in the early days. He has already established a pretty good pattern (that I'm sure he will change just to throw me off). He eats, stays awake for an hour and then sleeps for an hour or two. Then his belly growls and he wakes up to eat again. And then the cycle starts over again. I love being able to spend time with him one on one. I feel a little guilty that we're sending Max to school every day, but he really does like it there and the teachers have said he's been happy all week. No crying or whining about wanting to come home. So that makes me feel A LOT better about our decision to send him back full time. He comes home every day with a new story about what he did or who he played with or what they had to eat.

Max is doing amazingly well. He seems to take the attention Micheal needs in stride. He LOVES asking me when I'm going to feed Michael "milk from my boobies". LOL! He doesn't seem to mind that I have to spend that time not playing with him. And he likes to sit next to me while I'm feeding Michael and just lean on my side and talk to me or watch TV or have me read him a book. I hope this continues.

I also want to try and be diligent about documenting Michael's days because I want to be able to come back and read about these days when HE is almost 3...and we're maybe welcoming our third child home! (Yes, even this soon after birth my heart still feels like 3 is the right number! I'm crazy!)