One of Those Moments

I know it has to be the holidays and the fact that they really mark the time we've spent trying, but...

I'm having one of those moments where I can't stop thinking, "Why does everyone else seem to have a baby but me?" I went for a long time, at the beginning, living with the fear/paranoia that every time someone had good news, it was to tell me they were having a baby. I got over it.

Now I feel like I'm back to it. Maybe it's because we've decide to stop trying after February. I know that I'm ready to stop, February makes two years of heartache with no results. I know that we'll start the adoption process and still get a baby. I even know that we'll try again later after I've had a break and time to enjoy a baby, even if it's not biologically ours.

I think I'm just scared that I'll never get to experience pregnancy. And the intimacy between a mother and her baby as it grows within her. I think that's why I'm panicking. Okay, time to go make pies so I stop thinking about this....

Oh and I better write this...While I appreciate the humor behind the situation, please don't leave a comment that says, "You know you'll get pregnant as soon as you stop trying!" Because it won't make me feel better. Better yet, maybe I don't need any comments for this post. It just felt good to get off my chest.