I Guess I Can Share This Now

So this was my Thursday.....

But before you get too excited. It's already dead. Now we're just waiting to see if it's stuck in my fallopian tube or if it already miscarried. *sigh* I have no idea what we're going to do.......

I do know that I've "cowboy'd up" (as Sawyer would say) and I'm heading back to work tomorrow. I don't really want to, I'm pretty down still, but I refuse to let my boss think I'm a nut case. He already saw me fall apart in his office over the doctor's news on Friday. I had to go home at 11 o'clock because I was so upset.

Basically, I was definitely pregnant, and with my highest amount of HCG (baby hormone) ever. But I was bleeding the whole time (what I thought was my 28 day period was really my 8 week pregnancy) and my HCG started dropping off. Now I have to go for bloodwork every two days to make sure it keeps dropping. If it doesn't drop that they're 99% sure it's an ectopic pregnancy and then I have to have an ultrasound and some shots to make the embryo abort from my fallopian tube. It sounds gross. And sad. So I hope my little baby is already gone.

On a very strange note that I hope will make you laugh, since it made us laugh, we named it "Dead Millie". I hope no one is offended. It makes us feel better to add some humor to the situation. I obviously got my share of tears out over this, but after going through this three previous times, it just gets easier, as weird as that sounds to say.

The smallest hope was that we actually fertilized another egg. So I'm not 100% defective, just 50%. *sigh* I have no idea what we're going to do. Maybe my house will sell and I won't have to think about it!

Sorry for the bad news/downer entry.