Warning to all boys that may read my blog....this is about girl stuff. You might not want to read it.......you've been warned.
So I mentioned a little over a week ago that I'd had my period for 17 days. I'm now on day 24. Yeah. Gross. 24 days. Killer. The good news is that it's a normal period right now. I know, how does anyone think that's good news? Well, it meant that I got to go to the doctor yesterday to see if my cyst was gone...and it is! HOORAY! Everything seemed to look okay in there. I watched as she probed around and it all looked like normal. I was pleased. I also found out when I went to check out that all of my ultrasounds are covered by my health insurance! That was GREAT news, because I thought I owed them like 600 bucks. My understanding was that infertility is not covered at all my United. I wasn't going to argue and so I left with a lot of extra cash still in my pocket.
That's the good news.
The other half of the news is that Kendall and I are stopping treatment. The nurse seemed suprised when I told her and she tried to convince me otherwise. She wanted me to sit down and talk with the doctor about it. I told her that Kendall and I were comfortable with our decision and that if we wanted to talk to Dr. B we would schedule our own appointment. I reassured her that I would continue to take my medication in case I got pregnant and that we would call them if I did so that I could start my Heprin injections to hopefully prevent miscarriage.
After dealing with this cyst I don't think I can take the Clomid for a while because it's just too stressful thinking about the possibility of getting another one. And i was really only taking it to speed up the process of getting pregnant again. I don't need the Clomid to ovulate (although, I'm worried because I didn't ovulate this month with the cyst) it was just aiding us in the process by providing more eggs each month.
I'm very conflicted with my decision. In some ways I'm glad that we stopped because it was just a lot of time and money. I was missing work for it and we were paying for all of the drugs and shots and inseminations. We're not really quitting, we're just going back to the natural way. Kendall's counts have been very high the last few months so insemination wasn't really necessary. Once again, just a means to a faster end.
At the same time, I wonder if quitting all of that treatment is going to put us even further behind. It's that time of year right now where everyone and their mom is having a baby. Just look at all of the baby showers people have been talking about in their blogs! And it's also that time of the year when I'm incredibly jealous of anyone who is pregnant. It's hard. Especially with Karen's baby shower being right around the corner. It's a huge reminder that it should have been me first. Hell, I should be on my second shower. I've been trying long enough to already be having baby number two. It would just be nice to be able to go to someone else's baby shower with the knowledge that mine was just months down the road. That possibility is getting slimmer by the minute and going to the tried and true method of baby making just lessens our odds even more. Less sperm getting to their important destination.
The biggest decision made though was that if we get pregnant again and miscarry for a fourth time, we're going to start the adoption process. I really wanted to give this new treatment concept a shot first. To see if it would really fix the problem. I figure at this rate we'll be moved into our next house before we find out if it works!
So that's my news. Good and slightly sad at the same time. Still no sign in the front yard so now picture of that yet. I'm not going to write about our second choice house yet because we decided to go look at it with the realtor first to see what he thinks. Plus, they don't have any cool pictures loaded for you to look at. I'll let you know.
2 comments:
First, off subject a bit, i appreciate that you are honest in your blog and use it as a journal of sorts. Some people would be shy about posting anything that makes them or anyone else look less than perfect (like admitting you get jealous of others) but i think it makes you and your blog more real. and more enjoyable to read.
Secondly, i like your plan and think it's good. less drugs and stuff may lead to less stress which has to be healthy for you. I also agree with your adoption plan and timing - i think that you're looking at this realisically from both a financial and emotional standpoint and that's good.
Best of luck with whatever life brings you! Props for seeing the glass half full on a hard situation.
Having never been in your shoes, I have no idea how difficult this past year or so has been, but I commend you for making a plan, and one that will make you happy even if things take longer than you would wish. I think it is important for you as the future mom to be as healthy as possible and it sounds like the meds weren't helping with that i.e. the cysts..
Best of luck. I hate when I see people that would make great parents having so much trouble becoming and staying pregnant!
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