Burn Out

So I've been feeling some serious burn out at my job. Between the kids being mean to each other and me, grading regular work, and grading these stupid quarterly tests, I'm feeling like my job just isn't worth it. I love the people that I work with, but the job itself isn't feeling very fulfilling.

I've been having my "quarter life crisis" for over a year now and I still haven't been able to figure out what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I even wonder if this is part of the reason Kendall and I haven't been able to have a baby. God is forcing me to figure out who I am and what I want to do before giving me additional challenges. I do have to say, that the one thing that struggling with conception has done is turn my life back to faith. I can't say that I'm the best Christian, but I feel like I've reconnected with God.

There's this huge part of me that thinks that maybe I just need to be a mom for a while. But the other part of me is torn about leaving my job. I love connecting with kids. And I try to wrack my brain for other ways to bond with teens, and I'm at a loss. I don't want the connection to just be a passing thing, something I do in my spare time or on the weekends. I feel that I need a job where I can connect with kids on a daily basis. There are days when I question whether I should be teaching high school again. As much as I love 8th graders, there are times when I think I need more of a challege and my expectations exceed their abilities.

All of this has led to a lot of reflection on what I want to be doing in 10 years. I worry that I will still be saying the same thing I do now, the same thing I said at 16..."What do I want to be when I grow up?" Is this something that everyone goes through? Will I say the say thing at 36? 46? 96????