Tears, tears and more tears...

I appreciate all of your kind words, but I have to say, Anne put it best. It's just plain shitty. I cried pretty much all day. My mother-in-law came over and we put together the invitations for Nat's shower. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, both literally making the cards by hand and emotionally. I think in many ways I'm okay with Nat's baby now. It was way hard at first, but the closer it gets the more I just think, "Hey, it's a baby that's related to me that I can squeeze." But as Nat said, "Not too hard."

The Jessicas showed up unannounced with a giant carton of chocolate chunk ice cream and a card. Vesta left when they showed up and I had time to sit down with them and talk. I spent most of the hour crying and trying to get words out. They sat and listened, I think Jessica S. was kind of uncomfortable. Not sure if it was over my overt display of emotion or over the fact that she's sitting there 4 months pregnant. I don't hold it against her, and I hope she doesn't feel that way. It is hard to see sometimes, but she's such a good person and I know she will take such good care of her baby that I could never begrudge her that.

Kendall is just now on his way home from work. He'll probably walk in the door at 10. Totally sucks because I spent most of the day alone and crying with no one to hug me. Jessica G-J did give me a couple hugs, but sometimes there's only two people that can make it feel better....a spouse or your mom. I talked to mine today for like 2 hours on the phone. I felt a little bad that I didn't share the same things with my m.i.l., but it just doesn't feel right.

I think I've pretty much cried myself out for now. Who knows, when Kendall gets home it could start all over again. I have to get myself under control by work tomorrow. I can't go without eye makeup or the kids will all look at me funny. And it would be a little awkward if I just randomly started crying while teaching "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere". It just isn't a poem that inspires sudden sobbing. I just don't get that choked up over the British coming.