Why I Haven't Posted

So I had a really crappy weekend. I had a meltdown at work on Monday. And I was in such a foul mood still yesterday that I called off sick from work. Today, I'm a lot better, but I wasn't sure I'd get there.

I'll keep it as short as possible. I know some of you probably hate reading about this stuff, and I've been very diligent about not mentioning it in my blog. So if you don't want to read about my current infertility woes, don't read the middle, just skip to the P.S.

We started a whole new treatment last month. New doctor, new drugs, new theories on why I keep miscarrying babies. I'm up to 5. Yeah. Our old insurance (before the new year) was covering almost all of my doctor visits and procedures. We were only paying for the drugs and while they were expensive ($400) it was still feasible for our income.

We switched to new insurance in 2008 and assumed that the way things were being billed, we'd still be covered. We were wrong. We received a bill in the mail this weekend for over $1000 in doctor bills for January. To make matters worse, the cycle of drugs didn't work and the same day we got the bills, I got my period. On top of that, (still the same day) I called to order another set of drugs, still thinking we might be able to afford all of this. The new price on the drugs...$1000. A month. So this is our last month to try fertility drugs to help us stay pregnant.

Needless to say, I was devastated. Unless we can come up with the money each month, there is no way we can afford $2000 a month for this. We've calculated that over the last three years, we've spent close to $20,000 on trying to have a baby. And we've failed 5 times. To add insult to injury, two of my girlfriends just announced their pregnant with their SECOND child. I started trying for my first baby before they did.

It's just been a really rough week. I spent most of the weekend in tears. Monday I went to work and tried to get through the day but got a call from the doctor's office and had a very negative conversation with their billing lady. She was incredibly rude to me and I ended up having to step out into the hall so my kids wouldn't see me crying. I calmed myself down and made it through the rest of the day, but it was rough.

Things have started to look a little brighter. Jessica got me a naked man calendar and stuck in under the tire of my car today. We also found out we're actually going to get a small refund on our taxes. And Kendall talked to one of his bosses today and they might let him moonlight so that we can make the money each month to keep doing treatment, or at least save up a lot faster to get back to it.

So that's why I haven't posted this week. There was nothing good to post about. I'm in a good enough place now to share that with you. I'm throwing Jessica's baby shower this weekend and I know it might be a little rough since there will be very few people there who don't have kids now, but Jess has promised me that she'll understand if I'm quiet. And I promised her I would be the best hostess I could.

Okay, now for the funniest part of my day.......

P.S. I found out today that Morrie has been eating his own sh*t out of the yard. I actually caught him doing it. And man, when I say his breath smelled like ass, I really mean it.