July was a rough month for me. I had Max at home with me almost full time and I was feeling HUGE. The heat was almost unbearable and we spent most of our time indoors. I couldn't take him to the park or the zoo, it was a struggle at times to just get over to Kendall's office to have lunch. I had a lot of swelling and belly pain. I started having contractions, especially when stressed. I definitely couldn't wait for August to get here.
FINALLY August 19th arrived. It was an emotional day. I was struggling to not feel guilty that I was bringing home another child to divide my attention from Max. I was nervous that things wouldn't go as smoothly in surgery as they did the first time. And I was terrified of the pain of recovery, even knowing how I did the last time. While some fears were warranted, others were proven wrong. Max is IN LOVE with Michael and doesn't seem to bear me any ill will for bringing him home. He's been extremely helpful- getting diapers, trying to calm Michael when he cries and looking out for him when we ride in the car.
However, my recovery was not as easy as the last time. I've heard this is common with second babies and c-sections, but I just wasn't prepared for how tough it was. Everyone said I did great and that I was really getting around well those first few days, but it sure didn't feel like it. I was able to manage pain without taking crazy pain killers and that could be why it was a little more difficult. I also had a really bad first night in the hospital (a different one than last time) and that didn't help either.
Other than that, everything feels just a little easier with a newborn. My milk came in faster, I understand how to get him on the breast and didn't have near the problems I did with Max. I'm not quite as anxious this time around about crying. Sometimes babies cry. After Max's colic, I think crying got a lot easier to hear. I am a little worried Michael will have colic. He is already showing gassy tendencies. We will probably be dealing with reflux again at the very least. The poor kid is like a fartmonica. He's also starting to spit up and he's only 12 days old! I'm less anxious when he's sleeping and have even managed to get a shower and ready for the day before lunch time without breaking a sweat!
I still kind of can't believe I have two boys. I think if we had had a girl this time, it might seem a little more real, but sometimes I look at Michael and forget it's not Max lying there. So many of their newborn facial features are the same. Michael has a lot less rolls (his legs are actually SCRAWNY) and he got my fingers and toes and his hair is much lighter, but his eyes, ears, nose and mouth are so much like Max it's uncanny. They even wrinkle their brows the same way when distressed. But Michael is his own child. He is already showing signs of his own personality. I can't WAIT to see how he grows and changes. And I can't wait for the age when he and Max can finally play together and be BROTHERS.
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