I think even more frustrating than that is the fact that I've tried to make friends "up here". I just end up feeling like a stalker. I'll suggest that we get together and even offer up some dates we're available, and it seems like people are just too busy for us. I hate it. Am I unlikeable? Sometimes it feels that way. Maybe they're just more popular than I am and fill their calendars faster. That's the only thing I can tell myself so I don't feel like a total loser.
What I hate more than anything is that Max doesn't have anyone to play with. His cousin, Anna, is not interested in playing with him yet. And the friends that I've tried to connect with up here don't seem to have time for us. Or they're stay-at-home moms and their kids play together all day long. They don't want to have an evening play date. Which is hard too. Even the friends that live south of Troy that have kids seem to be sahms and it's the same scenario.
I get on FB and I see all of these fun pictures of kids together in front of Christmas trees and it just makes me want to cry. I feel so left out. It makes it even harder when I think about having another baby. Because that's the playmate Max will have. And the longer and longer it takes us to have a baby, the bigger the age gap will be and then he won't be interested in playing for quite some time.
Even Jessica hasn't invited us down to do anything. She's coming to Max's birthday party next weekend and I'm sure she will have to rush through because she has to get home to Callie or get Maddie down for her nap. I feel like we've lost touch. I know that its just as much my fault as hers, but seeing her pictures hurts more than anyone else's. I don't even know how to say anything to her about it. I know that she's having these get togethers during the day with her other sahm friends. So I can't blame her for that. It just SUCKS.
Sometimes I feel like the only person who makes any effort to come to Troy or at least INVITE US to their house is Karen. At the beginning of the year we made a great effort to see each other at least once a month. And she was willing to trade off the drive. It worked well until about October. The last few months have been hectic because of illness and holidays, but at least we are still trying to coordinate time together. And I appreciate that. We always have a good time and the kids seem to enjoy each other, even if they haven't seen each other for a month. Max STILL enjoys watching video of the time we took our bounce house down to play with Nicole. We blew it up right in their living room. It was hilarious. He laughs and yells, "Nic!" and "Max!" THANK YOU KAREN.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can meet other people that live up in Troy? I've tried my neighbors and Kendall's co-worker connections. There is supposed to be a group through church, but one of their activities is meeting DURING THE DAY. Grrrr. I just get so lonely sometimes.
7 comments:
You're welcome - we love you guys and always have so much fun!!
Making new friends can be hard. And you're right - we all get in our own patterns (ruts?) and it's hard to break out.
Part of it, and i'm not just saying this to butter you up, is that schedules get tight, especially at the holidays, and getting together with anyone is not only challenging to coordinate but not always something you want to do because having your own downtime is so appealing.
What's your scheudle of traveling over break? we're trying to take time off...
Lisa, if I were closer we'd come over! Have you seen this group? It's for working moms so their play dates are on weekends...maybe something like this will help you meet other moms with similar schedules.
http://www.meetup.com/Dayton-Working-Mamas/
Moving to a new and/or old location is hard because as Karen said, people get into habits and continue them. When i moved back to Cincinnati, I was really frustrated because friends that I wanted to spend time with were too busy for me, and I had to make new friends. Now I have a ton of new friends and things are great. It will happen for you!! I hope soon!
@ Karen- We will be going to Cleveland AFTER Christmas. Somewhere between the 27th and the 30th? Still waiting to hear from my mom about her days off.
And I guess I just see a lot of people having or going to holiday parties. And I don't feel like I get invited to any of them anymore. :(
@Laura- Thanks for that link! I might try to meet up with them. It's a little intimidating doing the Internet though.
Though not from the kid/play date perspective, I completely understand your feelings on this topic. I fell that I have TONS of friends, but the huge majority of them are out of town or out of state. Makes it difficult for spur of the moment activities.
Making friends as a grown up is so much harder.
Chiming in late: I feel the same way a lot of the time. Most of the people I sing with live in the city, but we live almost an hour outside. This can make for antisocial tendencies. I also think it's harder for women to make new friends because,kids or none, we all take care of other people.
trey and I did meet some fun new friends through the NoKidding! Chicago group, so Jessica's Meetup suggestion is definitely one to try.
This reminds me of an episode of How I met Your Mother (or, a few episodes). Lily and Marshal are always looking for good "couple friends" and become borderline stalkerish.
Good luck! :)
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