Sometimes I worry that Max is way behind and that I'm a bad parent. I'm sure that every parent feel this way at times, but I watch videos of Nicole and I read the blogs of friends with babies and I feel like maybe Max isn't going to be very smart and it's my fault. I know all babies are different. I know that boys and girls are different and do things at different times. For example, my mom says I was trying to walk by 9 months. My brother waited until almost 14 months. I was talking by a year. My brother wasn't. I know girls are typically easier to potty train and will train sooner too. Even knowing all of these things, I agonize over whether I'm doing the right things to make him successful.
For example, I've tried reading Max books. He won't sit still long enough to read them. Now that he can move, he has much better things to do. Like crawl over and play with his toys. Even at night, he doesn't want me to read him a bed time story. So I worry that because I'm not reading to him every night, he's going to grow up to be stupid. I keep trying to tell myself that when he gets a little older, he'll want to do it.
I was watching TV early in the morning last weekend and say an informercial for Your Baby Can Read. There was a 9 month old baby reading flash cards! Max can't even say any real words yet! Is that my fault? I talk to him all the time. We practice saying words out loud. I try not to use baby talk with him. When he is playing, i try to tell him what things are. Is this enough?? I hate watching that infomercial because it makes me want to order those stupid videos so that my kid can be "advanced".
Many of my friends who are parents don't seem to remember what it was like at Max's age, which I find to be very frustrating. At least it would give me a gauge for where he is at if they could give me an idea of what their baby was doing. I don't want to push him to do things too soon, but I also don't want to sit back and not push him hard enough.
Being a parent is hard.
5 comments:
Your Baby Can Read is complete b.s. in my opinion. At first I was intrigued, but then I researched it...it's a whole lot of time in front of the television. Not that Juliet doesn't watch some TV. But, I'd rather her experience life than watch flashcards on tv, or have me flash them. I mean, how boring is that? And I highly doubt it's anything but word-calling...I sincerely doubt the comprehension of what's being read. I have worried about the same thing with books. Juliet loves looking through them, but won't sit still through even a short story. I just keep reading it as she bops around. I figure, she's hearing the rhythm of the words, and sometimes she comes by to see what I'm yakking about. I totally feel like a bad mom. Hello! My masters is in reading! Talk about guilt trip. But, developmentally, it's got to be okay. I pretty much go by WTE: Toddler Years. Yet I confess, I actually haven't checked that fat book in months. Trust me, you're not a bad mom at all. A bad mom wouldn't give two craps about their child's development and you know as well as I do they're out there. As long as your pediatrician says Max is okay, I wouldn't worry. (Okay, worry less...we can never NOT worry!) *hugs*
I am sure Max is fine, both of his parents are very smart so he has good genes. I agree with Anne with the fact that you are worried and trying to help him learn, is a sign you are a good parent!
Lisa, every mom has doubts and worries, but guess what? You are there with Max, loving him and giving him attention. He will develop interests in his own time. Right now moving and crawling and exploring pretty much take up all of his brain power. I can't remember when Ella really started sitting still and paying attention to books...but i think it was more like 14 to 16 months or even later than that.
I remember reading that at a year she should have been able to stack 3 blocks on top of each other and I kept trying to get her to do it. You know when she did it? At 2 years old. I'm sure she was capable at 1 year, but she just wasn't interested.
My mom said I would never sit still long enough for her to read to me. And I think I turned out alright.
You're a fantastic mom, and Max is lucky to have you!
you and your private blog!! i have to remember now to go and read it! i feel so behind!
well, first thanks for using Nicole as a good example - made me smile! :)
Second, i think you're partially right about the boy versus girl thing. Chris isn't doing too much yet to compare but everything i've heard from people and books alike says that they are a little slower.
I'll pull out my Nicole 11 month update and send it to you so you can see what she was doing at that exact age... maybe it'll be helpful?
Also, i think that narrating your activities is the most important thing you can do. If you're doing this already you're in good shape. I found other little ways to incorporate learning too like counting the steps every time we went up and down or working on signs while i said the word.
Now i've moved on to telling/quizzing her whether we're turning left or right and describing characteristics that make people a boy versus a girl.
max is so lucky to have you - you're doing FANTASTIC with him!!!
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